10. Because its most holy book wasn't written by the editors of OK! magazine, and therefore is not worth taking the time to read in context.

9. Because it commands its believers to care for the poor, which is un-American and anti-capitalist.

8. Because it dares to question the authority of all-knowing, all-powerful Richard Dawkins.

7. Because it advocates loving your neighbor, even if that jerk steals your lawnmower.

6. Because it has the audacity to think that truth actually exists.

5. Because its adherents all live in an imaginary stretch of the Southern United States, have never been past the ninth grade, marry their cousins, ignore all manner of hygiene, and blindly support everything the Republican party does.

4. Because no Christian alive is intelligent enough to work a computer, much less post anything to Digg.com.

3. Because I heard one time that this one guy on TV did this one bad thing, and therefore all religious people are hypocritical scumbags with an IQ of 13.

2. Because I read so on Digg.com.

1. Because Dan Brown is an uber-genius and everything he said about Jesus and Mary is the gospel truth, more so than, well. . .the Gospel Truth.